Someone reminded me that we really need to get some pictures of the day posted. So – mark my words – it will be done soon. We are waiting for one more official photographer to send his stuff in, and then we are set.
In the meantime, I’ll post two things.
- The bulletin The worship bulletin
- The homily (sermon) from that day.
In addition I would ask a question of you, our clan, our people.
- If you have pictures of the day, would you please send them (email or snail mail is fine) to us? Even if it is one or two pictures, it would be really great.
OK – without further adiu – here is the sermon. And here is the downloadable copy. The homily
Homily for the Union of Rachel Swan and Karen Mattison – Cathedral of St. Mark – November 11, 2006 – The Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde
When two people meet and fall in love, it is nothing short of miraculous. More miraculous still is when those two make the decision to commit to that love and to one another for the rest of their lives. While it happens with sufficient frequency to seem like the normal course of things, it isn’t a given that we will know such love and act on it. Even those who don’t consider themselves spiritually inclined can attest to the gift of love, the grace of it, coming as it does from beyond us.
We are here, to celebrate with great joy, the gift of love given to Rachel and to Karen. It is so wonderfully affirming to look into the eyes of one you love and feel the same love coming back. Karen and Rachel, we rejoice with you, celebrate with you, and together ask God’s blessing upon you, as a shield and protector of your joy.
Christians are not unique in creating rituals to celebrate life-long unions, but as Christians, we have been given particular ways to understand the nature of love. For example, in our faith we believe that a life-long committed relationship is a sacrament. To call something a sacrament is a Christian’s way of describing how ordinary things of this world can become channels of God’s love and grace. To say that your relationship is a sacrament is acknowledge that through it you have come to know and will know in the future the wondrous love of God. That’s what “sacrament” means: ordinary things—bread and wine, water and oil, conversation over breakfast, a walk in the park, dancing through the night—become for us signs, symbols, channels of grace.
When we speak of love as a sacrament, we recognize that through our imperfect attempts to love one another, sometimes, in ways we’d least predict, God’s love shines through. That’s true between you, and it’s true from the two of you to others. Your love and your life together is and will be, as the Prayer Book says, “a sign to this broken world that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair.” (Book of Common Prayer, p.439) And this isn’t something you need to do—this is what God has promised to do, with, for, and through you.
Christians also speak of committed relationships as a covenant. A covenant is a kind of promise, but not simply one we make to each other. It is promise we make before God and to God, and that God makes to us. Karen and Rachel, you are not only promising to one another that you will love each other for the rest of your lives. You are making that promise to God, and you are asking God to help you be faithful to the promise you’re making, which, will stretch and challenge you in ways beyond your knowing. It’s a daring thing to do, if you think about it: to promise before God to love someone for the rest of your life. But here’s the amazing thing: God is also here, promising the same to you, entering the covenant with you, being faithful to you in this covenant even when you will, at times, surely fail. You are not alone, having to make this work. God is with you and for you. Our God is a God of relationships, and you can trust that you have a friend, an advocate, and support as you live into the promises and vows you make.
Finally, we as Christians think of our committed relationships as a vocation, that is to say, part of our life’s work and calling. This isn’t work in the sense of having a day job; this is work like a masterpiece that an artist takes all of his or her life to perfect. The vocation between you will have many seasons and expressions. Sometimes it will come as easily as sailing with a strong wind at your back. Other times it will be like sailing on choppy, turbulent waters. And other times—to keep this maritime metaphor going—it will be like being out in the middle of the lake when the wind dies and there you sit, waiting for power and inspiration that you do not have to get moving again. But life in general is like that. What you have now is the joy and complexity of sharing your life with each other. It isn’t always easy, but the gift and possibility of relationship far eclipse the cost, and the risks. I think you know that, and know that the gift you have been given in one another is worth everything it takes to accept and nurture.
The vocation of your relationship is also something you will share, in the sense that you are creating a foundation of relationship that others can count on to be there for them. There’s a vocation in relationship that has to do with your place in the community of family and friends, neighbors and co-workers. If you tend to your relationship well, it will be like a tree with deep roots and strong branches that not only sustains and protects you, but others as well. The tending to your relationship is essential; it may feel selfish, sometimes, to step away from the people who will come to rely on you. But if you don’t, over time you will have less to give. So cherish and preserve what gives you joy and strength; be curious and open about the things that cost you; be strong and persevere when times are hard. The vocation of your relationship is a life-long work of art.
Karen and Rachel, I believe that I can speak for everyone gathered when I say that we are delighted to be here and bask in the gift of this day. Thank you for all that you’ve done to ensure that it is one of joy and beauty for us. Our wish and our prayer for you is that God will give you every grace and happiness, the courage to will and to persevere, the capacity to forgive when you hurt each other or when others hurt you, and the gift of joy and wonder every day of your lives. And knowing that your hearts are open to receive and share this gift, it is my privilege to invite you to God’s altar to exchange your life-long vows.
